Am I a Self Righteous Jerk?

Am I a Self-Righteous Jerk?

Are most of the Christians you know … well … jerks?   Most the world seems to agree with you.  It seems we are perceived that way.

I enjoy being challenged – really being challenged to be authentic in my life.   I am not always successful at all.  But I strive to be honest about what I am and what I am not.  I am a sinner through and through – I, in no way, deserve the grace and forgiveness that God has given me.  I didn’t earn it.  And I have failed miserably enough to taste of His goodness and forgiveness.  However, there are some that have never (in their eyes) failed.   And seemingly don’t need much of God’s grace and forgiveness.  They are righteous in their own eyes … but not very loving in the eyes of others.

I have recently been reading, Why Nobody Wants to Be Around Christians Anymore: And How 4 Acts of Love Will Make Your Faith Magnetic by Thom & Joani Schultz.  I have been challenged by this book and thought I would pass part of it off to you.  This is an extended quote from the book.

Recent research makes a pretty clear case that Christians are no longer highly regarded. We’re not known for our love for one another— or anyone else, for that matter. We’re known more for what we’re against than what we’re for. And it’s not the fault of some marginal-but-vocal group of media-hungry extremists. The finger of blame points in one direction: the majority of Christians. In their book UnChristian, authors David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons reveal startling research that shows 87 percent of Americans view Christians as judgmental. And a whopping 85 percent of Americans consider Christians to be hypocritical.

Ask yourself: Do I enjoy being around judgmental, hypocritical people?   We sure don’t.

Christians say they look to the Bible to guide their attitudes and actions, but, unfortunately, most of them are picking the wrong biblical examples. A recent study conducted by The Barna Group (a Christian organization, by the way) revealed that just over half (51 percent) of “self-identified Christians in the U.S.” have the same hypocritical and judgmental attitudes and actions portrayed by the Pharisees in the New Testament. (The Pharisees were those nasty, self-righteous religious leaders with whom Jesus was regularly at odds.) In contrast, Barna found that only 14 percent of self-identified Christians— a mere 1 out of 7— live out the attitudes and actions associated with Jesus.

Let that sink in for a moment. If you took a checklist of the Pharisees’ values versus Jesus’ values, more than half of today’s Christians would fall squarely in the Pharisee camp. And only 1 in 7 Christians could be described as living according to Jesus’ example.

Below is an excerpt from The Barna Group’s research showing how the researchers determined whether Christians aligned more closely with Jesus or the Pharisees. Take a couple of minutes to honestly consider how you have lived out these attitudes and actions in your life during the past year.

The 10 research statements used to examine Christ-likeness include the following:

Actions like Jesus:

I listen to others to learn their story before telling them about my faith.

In recent years, I have influenced multiple people to consider following Christ.

I regularly choose to have meals with people with very different faith or morals from me.

I try to discover the needs of non-Christians rather than waiting for them to come to me.

I am personally spending time with nonbelievers to help them follow Jesus.

Attitudes like Jesus:

I see God-given value in every person, regardless of their past or present condition.

I believe God is for everyone.

I see God working in people’s lives, even when they are not following him.

It is more important to help people know God is for them than to make sure they know they are sinners.

I feel compassion for people who are not following God and doing immoral things.

The 10 statements used to assess self-righteousness (like the Pharisees), included the following research items:

Self-Righteous Actions:

I tell others the most important thing in my life is following God’s rules.

I don’t talk about my sins or struggles. That’s between me and God.

I try to avoid spending time with people who are openly gay or lesbian.

I like to point out those who do not have the right theology or doctrine.

I prefer to serve people who attend my church rather than those outside the church.

Self-Righteous Attitudes:

I find it hard to be friends with people who seem to constantly do the wrong things.

It’s not my responsibility to help people who won’t help themselves.

I feel grateful to be a Christian when I see other people’s failures and flaws.

I believe we should stand against those who are opposed to Christian values.

People who follow God’s rules are better than those who do not.

You know what it feels like to be rejected. It hurts. Deeply. Condemnation and finger-pointing have never made anyone feel valued or appreciated. You also know what it feels like to be loved. Maybe it was by your parents or a sibling or your spouse or your partner or your best friend. You’ve most certainly been loved completely and unconditionally by God. It’s quite the opposite from feeling condemned.

What would you rather have people know for certain about you as a Christian? That you’re a self-righteous judge? Or that you’re a fountain of God’s overflowing love? There’s one way God sends his love— his grace— to those people in need. Through us. Through Christ’s body here on earth. If Christians aren’t spreading God’s love, no one will.

My Commentary

As I read those diagnostic statements about Jesus Attitude vs a Pharisee’s Attitude I found myself in both categories. 

I do find it difficult to be around people who constantly KNOWINGLY do the wrong things.   Proverbs is replete with example of people who befriend fools – people who continually and knowing do things that are destructive and wrong.  There has to be a balance somewhere … and I struggle trying to find that balance.   Hopefully, when I am confronted with such a person again, I’ll remember these things and ask God’s Spirit to guide me rather than just walking away and moving on to someone easier.

I also find it difficult to help someone who doesn’t care enough to make an effort to help themselves.   Not CAN’T help themselves, but rather have no desire to seek a new direction, take steps or make changes to improve their lives.  I know that I can’t do it for them.   I also know that there are different “seasons” in lives where people are more willing to make changes than others.   Again – when I am confronted with such a person or situation again, I will ask God’s Spirit to guide me rather than just throwing up my hands and thinking, “Well they got what they deserve.”

The Christian Value statement is puzzling to me.  I believe that we are to uphold God’s standards.  I think the problem is that we have shown more love to the “Standards” than we have to the people.  There is nothing wrong with speaking and standing for the truth, but we must speak the truth in love!   Ephesians 4:15

In closing.  Be honest with yourself.  Most self-righteous people have a problem doing that.   It is too hard.  It is too unnerving.  So they will probably blow this post out of the water with some self-righteous indignation and be justified with themselves.   But maybe, just maybe, God’s Spirit has spoken to your heart and brought some things to your attention.

John 13:35 (NLT)  Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

I’ll write more as I make my way through the book.