When Gratitude is a Choice - Not a Feeling. Reflections on Thanksgiving.

In the quietness of our home – early on Thanksgiving morning – while all are asleep – I reflect on being Thankful.

Normally I could give a long list of blessings of how good God has been in the past year, but right now it difficult to do so.   I do not FEEL blessed right now.   I do not FEEL thankful.

And yet – I am commanded by God to be thankful.

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV)

Always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Ephesians 5:20 (NIV)  

How do you give thanks when you don’t FEEL thankful?  Before you start to lecture me, I know … I know … I’ve given all the answers to others that you are about to give to me.   You live in the greatest nation on earth.  You have all your needs met.  You have a wonderful family.  You have your health.   And the list could go on and on and all of that is true.

But

Right now my thankfulness is not a feeling … it is not an emotion.   Right now my thankfulness to God is a choice, a decision that comes through tears and brokenness.

Through faith – I am choosing thankful for being broken, shattered and discarded.  When God chooses, He will rebuild, recreate and restore.  When He chooses – not me.  He has promised.  I longingly wait.  Through tears I am thankful, hopeful and trusting He will.  I am blessed to have such a future.

Through faith – I am thankful for a wife who loves me even when it would be easier not to.  She has demonstrated commitment and forgiveness borne from the very heart of God.  I am thankful for two boys who loved and encouraged me each in their own ways, bringing joy into my life through their gifts of drama and sports.  I am blessed to have such a family.

Though faith – I am thankful for people who loved my family and myself enough to be there, to love us, cry with us, pray with us and worship with us while others disappeared.   They were Jesus in the flesh to me and my family.  I am blessed to have such people in my life.

Finally, I am thankful that God’s Work in my life isn’t dependent on my worthiness or my performance.  That is a hard concept for me to believe and accept – but I am finding that it really is all about Him and not about me.  If and/or when He chooses to use me, it will be for His glory and honor and not a reflection of my talents or abilities. 

Maybe right now it is giving thanks for what will be – what He says will be – not for what has been or even is right now.

God – though faith – I am choosing to be thankful for what you are doing and will be doing in my life.  It is difficult.  I FEEL hopeless and frightened, but I will strive to be obedient and be thankful to You … in all circumstances.   Help me keep my hope in You and not in myself or others.  Thank you for friends, family and Your faithfulness.   Amen.