In the
quietness of our home – early on Thanksgiving morning – while all are asleep – I
reflect on being Thankful.
Normally I
could give a long list of blessings of how good God has been in the past year,
but right now it difficult to do so. I
do not FEEL blessed right now. I do not
FEEL thankful.
And yet – I am
commanded by God to be thankful.
Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in
Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV)
Always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Ephesians 5:20 (NIV)
Always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Ephesians 5:20 (NIV)
How
do you give thanks when you don’t FEEL
thankful? Before you start to lecture
me, I know … I know … I’ve given all the answers to others that you are about
to give to me. You live in the greatest
nation on earth. You have all your needs
met. You have a wonderful family. You have your health. And the list could go on and on and all of
that is true.
But
Right
now my thankfulness is not a feeling … it is not an emotion. Right now my thankfulness to God is a choice,
a decision that comes through tears and brokenness.
Through
faith – I am choosing thankful for being broken, shattered and discarded. When God chooses, He will rebuild, recreate
and restore. When He chooses – not me. He has promised. I longingly wait. Through tears I am thankful, hopeful and
trusting He will. I am blessed to have
such a future.
Through
faith – I am thankful for a wife who loves me even when it would be easier not
to. She has demonstrated commitment and
forgiveness borne from the very heart of God.
I am thankful for two boys who loved and encouraged me each in their own
ways, bringing joy into my life through their gifts of drama and sports. I am blessed to have such a family.
Though
faith – I am thankful for people who loved my family and myself enough to be
there, to love us, cry with us, pray with us and worship with us while others
disappeared. They were Jesus in the
flesh to me and my family. I am blessed
to have such people in my life.
Finally,
I am thankful that God’s Work in my life isn’t dependent on my worthiness or my
performance. That is a hard concept for
me to believe and accept – but I am finding that it really is all about Him and not about
me. If and/or when He chooses to use me,
it will be for His glory and honor and not a reflection of my talents or
abilities.
Maybe
right now it is giving thanks for what will be – what He says will be – not for
what has been or even is right now.
God – though faith –
I am choosing to be thankful for what you are doing and will be doing in my
life. It is difficult. I FEEL
hopeless and frightened, but I will strive to be obedient and be thankful to
You … in all circumstances. Help me
keep my hope in You and not in myself or others. Thank you for friends, family and Your
faithfulness. Amen.