What Do You Do When You Have Been Betrayed?

Betrayal is a weapon found only in the hands of the ones you love. Your enemy has no such tool, for only a friend can betray. Betrayal is a violation of trust, an inside job. It would be easier if it was a stranger, a random attack or that you were a victim of circumstance. But betrayal isn't like that. When you are betrayed, you are the victim of a friend.

It is more than rejection. Rejection opens a wound, betrayal pours the salt.
It's more than loneliness. Loneliness leaves you in the cold, betrayal closes the door.
It is more than mockery. Mockery plunged the knife, betrayal twists it.
It is more than as insult. An insult attacks your pride, betrayal breaks your heart.

When betrayal comes, what do you do? Get out? Get angry? Get even? You have to deal with it somehow. How did Jesus treat being betrayed.

Jesus Called Judas Friend

(Matthew 26:50 NIV) "Jesus replied, "Friend, do what you came for." Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him."

Of all the names I would have chosen for Judas it would have not been friend. What Judas did was grossly unfair. There is no indication that Jesus ever mistreated Judas. There is no clue that Judas was ever left out or neglected. When, during the Last Supper, Jesus told the disciple that His betrayer sat at the table, they didn't turn to one another and whisper, "It's Judas. Jesus told us he would do that!"

It is even more unfair when you consider that they betrayal was Judas's idea. The religious leaders didn't seek him, Judas sought them. Judas went to them and asked how much he could get for Jesus. Somehow the betrayal might have been more palatable or understandable if Judas had been propositioned by the leader, but he wasn't. He propositioned them.

Then he betrayed Him by calling Him Teacher - a title of respect. Then the kiss - an exchange between friends - a expression of affection. Nothing that Judas said or did warranted such a response from Jesus.

Jesus Understood Judas Had Been Seduced by a Powerful Foe

Jesus was aware of Satan's whispers in Judas's ear. He was aware how powerful and cunning they could be. After all, Jesus had heard them for Himself. This was no demon or even demons that was after Judas, this was Satan himself.

Jesus knew how hard it was for Judas to do what was right. He didn't justify what Judas did. He didn't minimize the deed. Not did He release Judas from his choice. But He did look eye to eye with His betrayer and try to understand. As long as you hate your betrayer, a jail door is closed and a prisoner is taken. But when you try to understand and release your foe from your hatred, then the prisoner is released and that prisoner is you.

Perhaps you don't like that idea. Perhaps the thought of forgiveness is unrealistic to you. Perhaps the idea of trying to understand your Judases is simply to gracious.

What do you suggest? Does harboring anger solve the problem? Will getting even remove the hurt? Does hatred do any good? The hurt should not be minimized, nor should one justify the actions of a betrayer, but we must understand that justice won't come this side of eternity and demanding that your betrayer gets his or hers share of pain. will in the process, be most painful to you. Life is not fair. God never said that it would be.

(John 16:33 NIV) ""I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.""

Troubles are part of the package. As long as you are here on earth there are going to be betrayals, disappointments, death, sickness and sin. That is all part of the troubles and tribulation that come with living here on planet earth. Don't look for fairness here - look instead where Jesus looked.

Jesus Looked to the Future

(Matthew 26:64 NIV) ""Yes, it is as you say," Jesus replied. "But I say to all of you: In the future you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven.""

While going through hell on earth, Jesus kept His Eyes of heaven.
While surrounded by enemies, He kept His Mind of His Father.
While abandoned on earth, He kept His Heart on Home.

Jesus took a long look into the homeland. Long enough to see His friends.

(Matthew 26:53 NIV) "Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?"

And seeing them up there gave Him strength here on earth.

So what should we do when we are Betrayed?

Offer them Compassion.
Offer them Understanding.
Keep your Eyes Focused on Jesus Christ.

(Hebrews 12:1-2 NIV) "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. {2} Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

I can't do this - it's impossible!

Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengths me."


Adapted from Max Lucado