How to Handle Criticism

A monk joined a monastery and took a vow of silence. After the first 10 years, his superior called him in and asked, "Do you have anything to say?” The monk replied, "Food bad.” After another 10 years, the monk again had an opportunity to voice his thoughts. He said, "Bed hard.” Another 10 years went by and again he was called in before his superior. When asked if he had anything to say, he responded, "I quit.” "It doesn't surprise me a bit. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here."

John Mason in You’re Born An Original, Don’t Die A Copy, writes, “You can always spot a failure by the way he criticizes success. Those who can – do. Those who can not – criticize. Those who complain about the way the ball bounces are often the ones who dropped it in the first place. If it were not for the doers, the critics would soon be out of business. Envy provides the mud that failures throw at success. Whoever criticizes to you will criticize about you. If someone belittles you, he is only trying to cut you down to his size.”

So, How Does One Handle The Critics?

One should listen to it & evaluate the merit of it. Evaluate the merit of the criticism independent of the person: Is the critic accurate? Do they have a legitimate concern? Often this involves time of speculation and prayer. This is why it is good to surround yourself with godly people who can help you with this process. “Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance—“ (Proverbs 1:5 NIV)

Secondly, look at the source of the criticism. What is their intent? Do they have an agenda in mind? Are they chronic complainers? “Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right.” (Proverbs 20:11 NIV)

Finally, determine if action should be taken, whether it be a change or an apology. Correction and self-control will lead you through life.” (Proverbs 6:23b)

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; who does actually try to do the deed; who knows great enthusiasm, the great devotion and spends himself in a worthy cause; who are the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” April 10th, 1899, Theodore Roosevelt

But Its Not My Fault!

Hey! It's Not My Fault!

I recently came across a list of "Ten Television Talk Show Myths" that was very enlightening. It seems that many people have adopted these "myths" as facts and now operate their lives by them.

• All of your problems are somebody else’s fault.
• The world owes you happiness.
• You will be happy if you get what you want.
• There is never any reason to feel guilty.
• Man is basically good and unselfish.
• All beliefs are equally valid.
• Pornography and perversion are innocent.
• You can have it all.
• You should not have to wait for anything.
• Because you are God, the answer lies within you.

Are there answers to these "myths?" There are many, but one is obvious ... Each of us is responsible for his or her own actions.

Steps Towards Accepting Responsibility

Be Responsible For Who You Are - You are a wonderful creation of God. You are His Child. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. God has created you to be His companion. You are a wonderful creation of God. . . . Now act like it. Psalm 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

Be Responsible For What You Can Do - " I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; And because I cannot do everything - I will not refuse to do the something that I can do." Edward Everette Hale "If you do not do what you know is right, you have sinned." James 4:17

Be Responsible For What You Have Received - What has God given you? Talents? Money? Family? God expects more out of a stick of dynamite than He does out of a firecracker. “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” Luke 12:48b

Be Responsible To God - One day we must realize that we ultimately will answer to God - for our actions and how we treated others. “So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.” Romans 14:12

Take Charge - Be Responsible!

Kiss and a Hug

Most people who read these articles are parents. Your children may be young, grown or at some stage in between, but there is something that they (we) all need. A number of years ago, Ken Coleman, Pastor of First Baptist Church in Godely, Texas, said each child needs a "kiss and a hug." By the way, I am 51 and I still like getting these from my parents! You are never too old to give or get "kisses and hugs".

Kiss & A Hug

• K - Kindness - Kids need kindness. That sounds simplistic, but how many times do we forget to be kind to our children? With all the hustle and bustle of everyday life, kindness is sometimes left in the dust.
• I - Intimacy - Intimacy means fully known and still loved. How well do you know your child? Do you know his strengths, weaknesses, habits, friends, and favorite music? Intimacy knows all of these things, and loves them anyway.
• S - Stability - Providing stability means there are absolutes in his life, parameters for his protection and the protection of others. Are you consistent in enforcing the rules? One of the basic laws of physics is that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Does your child know this about his behavior?
• S - Special - Show him how special and unique he is because of who he is - - not because of what he did. Every person is a unique creation of God. Of course, some are more unique than others! However, God fearfully and wonderfully makes each of us. Does you child know you think he is special?

And then a ...

• H - Helpfulness - Being a kid is much more difficult than it used to be. Kids are faced with things as children that you and I were not faced with until much later in life. Do you help your children with life?
• U - Understanding - No one has a perfect child. All kids mess up, fail, and blow it at one time or another. How understanding are you of your children when they do not live up to your expectations? Are your expectations at a level even you cannot live up to? How understanding are you of your children?
• G- Guidance - Are you providing guidance for your children? If you are not, who is?

"Children are a blessing and a gift from the Lord." Psalm 127:3

"I will praise you because of the wonderful way You created me. Everything You do is marvelous!" Psalm 139:14

Go! Kiss and Hug your kids today!

Who is Setting Your Agenda?

Why Do You Do What You Do?

John Mason in his book, "An Enemy Called Average" writes this: "Do you know that God made you for a purpose? He has a job for you that no one else can do as well as you. Out of the billions of applicants, only one is qualified, only one has the right combination of what it takes. God has given people the measure of faith to do what He has called them to do. Every person is gifted. Have you found what God created you to do?"

Have you stopped and asked yourself why you do what you do? There has to be a reason, but somehow many of us simply never stop to ask ourselves the question: Why am I doing this? Who is it that sets my agenda? Could it be:

• People's Expectations - Everyone expects me to do it! Moreover, "Everybody is doing it!"
• Tradition - Well, we have always done it this way before in this department.
• Sense of Urgency - It has to be done now - because no one did it earlier.
• Insecurity of Inaction - Busy-ness - The world depends on me.

Three Keys To A Directed Life

• Know Who You Areand What Your Are To Be Doing- Jesus was secure in the fact that He knew who He was. He knew what His purpose on earth was. ". . . I can preach there also. That is why I have come.” Mark 1:38 Do you know what your purpose is? Do you know why God has placed you where you are? God has designed you for a specific purpose. Discover what that purpose is, then chart a path!
• Know When To Stop- There will always be more work to do. It never stops, but you can not help people when you are empty yourself. When you define what you will do, you also define what you will not do. Who determines when you stop, where you go? Who sets your course? Who determines your priorities? The disciples thought they knew what was best, but Jesus listened to a different voice. Whose voice are you listening to? “Everyone is looking for you!” Jesus replied, “Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also. That is why I have come.”” Mark 1:37-38
• Start Your Day With God- If you want to discover your purpose and your direction, there is no better place to start than to start it with God. “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Mark 1:35. Let Him set your agenda for the day.

Do What You Do Today On Purpose!

Is It Really That Bad? How Is Your Attitude?

Have you ever thought you had a bad day? Listen to the story of Mr. Jones:

“One day Mrs. Jones decided to get rid of some bad hair spray that she had. She decided that a good way to get rid of it would be to spray it into the commode. Shortly afterward, Mr. Jones came home. As was his usual custom, he went to the reading room (bathroom) to relax. As soon as he was comfortably seated, he lit a cigarette and tossed the match between his legs into the commode. You guessed it; the hair spray exploded and blew Mr. Jones heavenwards (sidewards). Unfortunately for Mr. Jones, the shower bar stopped his assent. So after the ambulance arrived, the driver asked Mrs. Jones how Mr. Jones got both a burnt backside and a concussion at the same time. She began to explain what happened as the ambulance attendants were carrying Mr. Jones downstairs. The ambulance drivers were so tickled about the story they dropped Mr. Jones down the stairs and broke both of his arms. Poor Mr. Jones. It definitely was not his day. He suffered one burned backside, one concussion and two broken arms.” Charles Lowrey - SBC Life - October 1995. p. 10

Agreed - Mr. Jones definitely had a bad day. However, not all of our days that we label bad are as bad as Mr. Jones. Actually - The majority of days are exactly what we make them to be. Many things effect out days from the outside; many circumstances are outside of our control. However, there is one thing that no one sees on the inside - it is something called attitude. So how is your attitude today?

How Important Is Your Attitude?????

• Your Attitude Determines Your Approach to Life.
• Your Attitude Determines Your Relationship With People.
• Often Your Attitude Is the Only Difference Between Success and Failure.
• Your Attitude at the Beginning of the Task Will Affect its Outcome More Than Anything Else.
• Your Attitude Can Turn Your Problems Into Blessings.

The Bible says, "Is your life full of difficulties...? BE HAPPY, for when the way is rough, your patience has a chance to grow. So let it grow and do not try to squirm out of your problems. For when your patience is finally in full bloom, then you'll be ready for anything, strong in character, full and complete." James 1:2-4 (LB)

Remember - Only You Control Your Attitude!!!

Seven Traits of Highly Effective Leaders

A wonderful illustration of leadership is found in the story of an amateur golfer who hit his ball into the rough. After searching for several minutes, he finally located it, sitting right on top of a large anthill. He squared up, took a big swing-- missing the ball completely. Hundreds of innocent ants died. He stepped back, swung again-- and missed, killing even more ants. The ball was still sitting there: but by now, the ants were panicking. As they were scurrying in every direction, one ant finally had an idea. "Follow me," he shouted authoritatively. "OK," said another ant, "but where are we going?" The first ant pointed to the golf ball in front of them and said, "It's obvious if we don't get on the ball, we're all going to die!"

The Manager’s Intelligence Report from Ragan Communications featured an excellent article on Leadership. The article listed seven specific actions that successful leaders carry out, regardless of the organization or cause they lead.What Are The Seven Traits?

• An Effective Leader Makes Others Feel Important - If goals and decisions are self-centered, followers lose their enthusiasm quickly. “Be humble and consider others more important than yourself.” Philippians 2:3b
• An Effective Leader Promotes a Vision - Followers need a clear idea of where you are leading them .An effective leader provides that vision. “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” Proverbs 29:18
• An Effective Leader Follows the Golden Rule - An abusive leader attracts few loyal followers. “Treat others as you want them to treat you.” Matthew 7:12a
• An Effective Leader Admits Mistakes - If you cover up your mistakes, those you lead will do so, too “He who hides his mistakes will not prosper, but whoever confesses and turns from them finds mercy.” Proverbs 29:13
• An Effective Leader Criticizes Other Only in Private - Public praises encourage others to excel, but public criticism only embarrasses and alienates everyone. “Making up with a friend you have offended is harder than breaking through a walled city.” Proverbs 18:19
• An Effective Leader Stays Involved In the Action - You need to be visible to the members of your organization. “Work hard, and you will be a leader; be lazy, and you will end up a slave.” Proverbs 12:24
• An Effective Leader Makes a Game of Competition - The competitive drive can be a valuable tool if used correctly. Set team goals, and reward members who meet or exceed them. “Just as iron sharpens iron, friends sharpen the minds of each other.” Proverbs 27:17

How many of these traits can you work to improve?